It’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you…
Well folks, I have been MIA for a hot minute and there’s a good reason for that! We finally PCSed (moved) to Colorado. And this last month has been a busy one. We moved into our new home and got straight to work. From painting to replacing floors to installing lighting and arranging furniture. I’m still decorating, as a home owner’s work is really never done. I even planted my first little flower garden in the bed under our bay window. I got the kids registered for school and extracurricular activities on post and even started my job search!
I have to admit though, this move has been particularly hard on my emotions. I wasn’t prepared for that; after all, I had moved several times before now. But for some reason, this particular move hit me hard very suddenly, and in recent days, I have been left wondering how to deal. I didn’t expect to miss my friends as much as I do. Living in Hawaii, I missed a lot that happened to family and friends on the mainland, but the good Lord blessed me with good friends who became like family. We only really had each other to lean on since we all were so far from other support systems. And in moving here, in a way, I felt that I somehow lost all that. I became sad, depressed even, and started re questioning my purpose yet again. I let all those self-doubts that I had worked so hard to get rid of come back and make me feel an overall sense of loss. And despite all the work I had accomplished in the short time that I’ve been here, I still feel lost.
I’m hoping that in time, especially with finding employment, I will get my mojo back. For those who are not familiar with military life, it is a lot of work for us spouses. It takes so much to up and move every 3 to 4 years, sometimes even every 2 years, to leave careers, lifestyles, a house you worked so hard to make a home, and friends that became your family. It’s hard for your children to have to say goodbye to best friends. It takes work to physically move your life to a whole new world. And it is hard to make friends everywhere you go, while trying to maintain the friendships with those who have lived in one place their entire lives; who seem to have perfectly settled into their happy lives while you shape shift every few years. It’s easy to feel lost in transition.
We are blessed though. Colorado is beautiful, the schools in our district are great, we have wonderful neighbors, and there is so so so much to do. The economy must be strong here too because there are so many job opportunities for spouses here, it is insane!!! So despite feeling lonely, stressed, and stretched to my limits, I am determined to make this a wonderful experience for myself and my family. I will pick up and I will make new friends. I will find a well-paying and satisfying job that could potentially turn into a career and I will make it a point to travel more often, visiting those I haven’t seen in years! I owe you one and you know who you are!
Now can anyone help me with arranging my gallery wall?
Outnumbered 