Identity, The Personal Journey

On My Way

I write to escape my reality.  That’s really all there is to it.  It’s not that I hate the reality in which I live, it’s just really really hard sometimes.   And to be honest, it kinda sucks at times, too.  But I digress.  Writing has given me a freedom to speak my mind and allow my imagination to take charge that reality sometimes just doesn’t allow me to do.  Let me explain.

When you are an only child, you end up with a lot of free time on your hands.  That’s just the way it is.  I had no sibling, no permanent playmate at my disposal so most of my fun came at my own hands.  I found things to do that I could enjoy on my own.  Most of that time was spent creating imaginary friends (don’t laugh) and creating stories with my dolls.  Each of these characters always had an extensive background and lifestyle and this creation just came so naturally to me.  When I became enamored with a little group called *NSYNC (perhaps you’ve heard of them), I found fan fiction and that changed my life.  I found a lot of inspiration in writing fan fiction and although it sounds a bit obsessive, I really learned to hone my writing skills in my infatuation.  It got to the point where I was taking requests from my friends and fellow teenyboppers to write stories for them.  It was a lot of fun while it lasted.  I wish I knew where those manuscripts were now…

Either way, it had been a good minute since I’ve written for fun.  During high school, college, and into graduate school, writing became something I had to do.  I became inundated with research papers, reports, and theses and lost that joy that writing once brought me.  It wasn’t until life really hit me that that joy returned at last.  Now I can’t be sure if it was the crazy reality that my world had crashed into, or simply the feeling of knowing I was meant for more than just changing diapers, squashing sibling squabbles, or conducting annual appraisals for preschool teachers.  But something hit me when our Earth turned 2016 AD.  I wanted to start doing things for me, in addition to doing for others.  And all the sudden, it was as if all this inspiration… I’m talking good writing material… came at me at once.  I began reading again.  I read everything I could get my hands on, trying to get a good understanding of what makes a novel great.  What compels the reader to keep reading?  I took notes, I blogged, I journal-ed… everything that came to my mind went on paper or was recorded on a Word document.  At last, I had found my creative outlet; I had found my freedom.

In my first real effort to create something on paper, I turned to my fan fiction background, finding inspiration from Hamilton…. yes, the musical!  Don’t make fun… I can see you smirking!  I started this project shortly after New Years Day of this year and only finished it as of May, after receiving a load of both praise and constructive criticism.  At roughly 48 pages, it is the longest story I have written to date, and I believe most realistic in how the characters actually might behave in the situations I placed them in.  As risky as it is to write something based on something or someone who actually exists, I found the move rewarding as it allowed me to refresh my skills in creating new and exciting characters, someone who can serve as a base for more works to come.  I’m on my way, friends.  As I sit here at my computer, my mind is pregnant with so many fun and crazy ideas and sometimes it is hard to decide what I’m going to write next.   But I feel rejuvenated.  I feel like a part of my life that I thought was gone has been given a jump.  I feel like I’ve found my purpose.


PS:  If you’d like to check out my work, just ask!  I’m more than happy to share… I just ask that you not judge!!!  Celebrity crushes are totes normal 😉  That blog post to come soon…

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